How to Manage Communications After a Divorce

Divorce signifies the end of a marriage. However, it does not necessarily signify the end of your relationship with your ex-spouse. If, for example, you and your former spouse have children together or the court-ordered alimony, you may need to maintain communication. It can be challenging to communicate effectively with your ex-spouse. We share some tips for managing communications between you and your ex-spouse.

Tip #1: Set Clear Boundaries

The first thing you need to do is to set clear boundaries. You and your ex-spouse should agree on which topics can be discussed and which ones are off-limits. It is also vital that you establish boundaries when it comes to communication channels. Decide whether communication should happen in person or through phone calls, text messages, or emails. For instance, you and your former spouse can agree to talk about timesharing in person or via phone calls. Text messages and emails can be used to discuss other matters. These guidelines will help prevent problems.

Tip #2: Leave the Past Behind

After a divorce, it is best to leave the past in the past, where it belongs. Leaving the past behind can help foster healthy communication between you and your ex-spouse. Not focusing on the past can help create a more conducive environment for interaction. Leaving the past behind allows for clearer, less emotionally charged communication. Past events or unresolved issues can trigger emotions during conversations. By letting go of these triggers, you make it easier to communicate with your spouse.

Tip #3: Always Stay Calm

Another thing you can do during interactions with your former spouse is to remain calm. Do not react emotionally, get angry, or lash out because this could worsen the situation and cause things to turn ugly. Whenever you feel like you are about to get emotional, angry, or lash out, let your ex-spouse know that you need some time to calm down. Pause the conversation and pick up where you left off another time.

Tip #4: Act as Business Partners

Thinking of your relationship with your former spouse as a business partnership can make it easier for you to communicate. For example, in a business partnership, the focus is on achieving mutual goals. So, when you and your former spouse act as business partners, your focus shifts towards shared responsibilities, such as co-parenting. Approaching the relationship between you and your ex-spouse with this mindset can encourage mutual understanding.

Tip #5: Practice Active Listening

Active listening entails fully concentrating and understanding what someone is saying instead of just hearing their words. Active listening can help promote understanding, thus making it possible for you and your ex-spouse to communicate effectively. It can prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications, thus reducing conflicts. Additionally, active listening can help you understand where your spouse is coming from, thus fostering mutual respect.

Tip #6: Consider Mediation

Consider mediation if it becomes challenging for you and your former spouse to communicate. A mediator can facilitate discussions between you and your ex-spouse.

Tip #7: Keep Your Children in Mind

Prioritizing the well-being of your children can help you and your ex-spouse communicate effectively when it comes to child-related matters.

Contact Us for Legal Help

Contact our skilled family law attorneys at Tampa Bay Legal Center, P.A., for legal assistance.


At Tampa Bay Legal Center, P.A., we care about our clients and about helping them resolve the legal issues they face in the most efficient and effective manner possible. Our law firm is led by attorney Carl J. Ohall who, for more than 25 years, has helped people throughout the Tampa area overcome legal challenges that affect their families, finances & health.

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